By Nicoletta Lanfranco
As we were sitting on the couch, my mom took out an ultrasound and told me, “You’re going to be a big sister!!” I jumped up with so much joy.
Since I was a little girl, I have always wanted younger siblings. As the only child for thirteen years, I was fortunate enough to spend plenty of time with my parents. I was blessed to go to many places like museums, parks, and ice cream shops, but I often felt lonely. I wanted siblings to play and create memories. I always wanted someone to look up to me as a role model.
The pregnancy didn’t feel real until I saw my mom’s stomach grow and felt the first kicks. I couldn’t wait any longer, and I wanted the baby to be born as soon as possible. When my little brother, Sebastian, was born, I thanked God for giving me a younger sibling. Two years later, another blessing came into our lives: my little sister, Sasha, was born. From the moment they were both born, I taught them everything I knew.
Every night after school, I would patiently feed them, hold them, and just want to be next to them. I watched them build their strength, learn how to crawl, and I eventually taught them how to walk. Every day, I teach them new skills, helping them tie their shoes, brush their teeth, or practice writing.
Being the eldest sister has taught me so much, too. Time management is critically important when balancing homework against my extra responsibilities, like bath time and making toddler-approved dinners. I’ve had to learn to write essays on the sidelines of Sebastian’s soccer games or join Zoom meetings with my mentors while Sasha falls asleep in my lap. I’m now able to look at the world differently than other 17-year-olds. In middle school, I used to wear headphones in both ears and be on my phone while on the street. Now, I always make sure to stay aware of my surroundings and walk the streets with only one headphone in or none at all, while paying attention to passing cars and people. I am also constantly aware of the example I am setting for them as they continue to learn from me.
Recently, Sebastian was doing a puzzle and said, “I don’t want Sasha to do the puzzle with me, I want to do it by myself.” Explaining the importance of sharing was the main way of expressing my concerns, but my actions had shown him more throughout the years. He shared the puzzle with her the same way that I always make sure to share with him, whether it’s my ice cream, phone, or time. It was an early opportunity to guide my siblings to be compassionate to one another, but for them to understand that I needed to not only explain it, but also demonstrate it through my behavior.
Before my siblings were born, I thought I’d be teaching them, and I wouldn’t learn anything new. But I realized that no one is ever done changing, growing, and learning. Caring for people pushes me to become the best version of myself so that I can make a positive impact on the world around me. The more I give to others, the more I receive in return, not just in material things, but in the richness of human connection and the satisfaction of knowing I’ve made a difference for others.
Nicoletta is attending Brooklyn College in the Fall of 2025 to pursue Early Childhood Education in hopes of becoming a teacher.
