Dealing with grief from the loss of a loved one can be a difficult experience for people. Many don’t fully know how to deal with it. Some react in a multitude of emotions from anger to sadness. People may not want to talk about it but others welcome the opportunity to open up about the death of a loved one.
Chance Thompson, a senior, lost his mother when he was in elementary school. He took counseling through his elementary and middle school years. He said it helped but “only for certain things.”
“How I deal with it now is a journey because when it first happened of course, you learn and adapt to it,” Thompson said. “So years came, high school came and life happened. I devoted myself to Jesus Christ, my lord and savior.”
Thompson emphasized that his religion helped him overcome the depression and fear of no longer having his mom in his life.
Sincere Santiago, a sophomore, has dealt with the loss of his godsister.
“It was hard to see, but I had to push through it,” he said. “It was very heartbreaking, but what I did was try to keep my mind off of it.”
Santiago tried not to think about his loss at first, but found that his mind kept coming back to it and he kept hurting. Eventually, he began to focus on things that brought him joy like basketball and hanging out with friends.
“I struggle, but I still think about it to this day. I try to think about it positively, instead of negatively. I wonder what I can do better to push myself to the limits? Or what would the person think if they were still here with me?”
A third student who requested to remain anonymous, stated that they lost their childhood best friend. They said it’s been helpful to spend time with their friend’s little sister since they both have a shared experience of losing a loved one and can understand each other’s grief.
“We hang out every day,” the student said. “We do little stuff like draw or just go outside, take a walk or whatever.”
The student said they both went to therapy to talk about the grief.
“We’re just trying to get through the grief and remember the memories that we had with him instead of being inside,” the student said.
If any students are struggling to cope with the loss of a loved one, guidance counselors Ms. Garcia, Ms. Barcia and Mr. Hylton are available to help.
“I feel like everyone copes with grief in a different way and it really depends on the person,” Ms. Garcia said, “but I think the number one thing is to allow yourself to feel emotions that come up.”
“We know that there’s different stages of grief, so there might be some times where you feel happy, but then out of nowhere, you might feel sad or angry.”
She believes that it is important to acknowledge your feelings instead of trying to suppress them. She encourages students to talk to people in their communities whom they trust, whether they’re a friend, family member, guidance counselor, social worker or a peer.
”We all process it so differently,” Ms. Barcia said. “If it gets in the way of your daily functioning, then you should definitely consider getting professional help.”
“Healthy ways (of coping) for me is writing, speaking to someone about it and allowing yourself, if you feel sad in that moment because you remember about the lost one — just cry,” Ms. Garcia said. “Crying is healthy.”
Reported with instructional assistance of freelance journalist Arabella Saunders.
